I am Yours Always

I am Yours.. Always

“Frustrating. I think she knows and why? Is this how women behave to infuriate men they like?, this is exactly what I wanted to scream at the top of my voice”, I said.

Shawn turned back and smiled at me. His usual carefree arch of handsomeness crawled his perfect cheekbones.

Stop talking so much about women, others might think you are lesbo, he said casually sipping his tea and leaning back comfortably on the coffee shop sofa.

Ah! I am a woman, and the sarcastic smirk helped hide my feelings for him. It ached a little, still… I have no choice. He is my literary agent and I am his client.

Do I have a choice? I am not usually the type to mix business with pleasure. But he is different. So very… VERY DIFFERENT.

He is 5’10, handsome, has a Master’s in Business Administration but totally into a different field. I know he admires art. I can sense it from the way he looks at things. Artistic.

I am not that shallow but I have to say this…

He is handsome. Steaming hot handsome with a face that is so symmetric. I doubted if God has an engineering degree in creating such a handsome face that looks measured with a compass and a divider.

“Divya?”, he is now looking right into my eyes.

Those deep dark eyes that devour you alive. I want to dive in and be lost in it. Forever.

I am still here, thinking how we can develop the plot, I answered carefully, minding my intonation to sound careless and playful. Honestly, I pretended to play with my keys.

“Right then”, he hesitated for a moment and continued. “So I have something to ask”, he murmured, the words made my heart skip a beat and I thought I was dead for a moment.

My face mirrored a blank stare as if wanting him to say, “I love you, I need you, Let’s get married,… blah.. Blah”

“Something personal Divya”, he continued.

“Go on”, said I with intentional playful modulation.

“Would you like to come with me to Jaipur? LitFest? You and Me? You can meet new people and it might inspire you to create…, he dragged.

I am flying! Literally I am above the clouds with imaginations of spending a week with this guy. He is handsome, careful and smart. Wow. Can you even imagine your crush asking you to go out? My crush just did!!!

He asked me out and out alone. Amazing.

A sharp tone cut through my thoughts and made a crash hard on reality.

The phone in front of the other person rang rudely with a name flashing on it.

He carefully lifted his iphone and swiped to answer, “With a client, bae. We will meet for lunch at 1.00. Leela Palace.”

With the same care, as if holding the person on call in hands, he placed the phone back. This time facing me.

I said, grabbing my keys and bag. “No Shawn. Probably the next time. See you once you are back in the city”.

He smiled and waved a bye. I can see disappointment but not a deep one.

Back in my car, I wished desperately for him to persuade me to go with him.

But I know… I Am Always His… In my dreams.

My engine started as I tore the flight ticket to Jaipur in pieces with my mouth. Sobbing loud enough so my muffled tones stay within the decibels of the radio in my car.